SteveSilver.net: a blog about movies. sports, news, technology, politics, pop culture, comedy, fatherhood and much more

Against Puns

Jon Stewart, not a fan:

It's only funny when David Caruso does it.

Naked Naked Naked

My review of "Love and Other Drugs" is online on Philly.com. I really don't understand why it got bad reviews and flopped- it was one of my favorite movies of the year.

The Super-Negative Sports Fans of My Hometown

No, not Philly- Minnesota. Here's 45 minutes of Dan Barreiro wondering if the Twin Cities has become Negadelphia.

Glad It Happened, But Sad It Was Necessary

Anderson Cooper smacks down a birther scum:

I love that someone can just go on TV and lie continuously for 15 minutes. It would be like going on TV and claiming that Ronald Reagan is a space alien.

Sports Radio Moment of the Day

During Monday's Andy Reid coach's show on WIP, Howard Eskin said that "there's absolutely no doubt in my mind that the Eagles are a better team than the Bears. No question at all." Other than the Bears having a better record than the Eagles, and having beaten them two days ago, no doubt at all.

Runner-up is the 97.5 caller who said that the reason the Eagles didn't go for the touchdown at the end is that "they always save their good plays" for the playoffs and don't want to give them away before that.

Stephen Solarz, RIP

The only Brandeis alum ever elected to Congress has died at the age of 70. I had had no idea until now that Solarz is the one who brought Imelda Marcos' shoe collection to the world's attention.

Movie Critic Quote of the Day

David Poland on "Burlesque":

Christina Aguilera doesn’t so much act as glow… assisted mightily by the permanent gauze from Cher’s camera that the somehow infected every frame of the film. I am conscious of Ms Aquilera, but had no idea how many ways there were to photograph her hair and boobs until this film. Seriously. I expect there to be a website dedicated to the passion Steve Antin shows for his starlet’s bust and the many ways he features it in frame, from loosely hanging to practically strapped down. Is she an A-Cup or a C-Cup? I don’t know. But the framing constantly demands high torso attention. And her face is equally unpredictable in the angles from which it is shot. At one point, I thought she was a new character I couldn’t remember.

God Hates Fags at Brandeis

News Item: Westboro Baptist Church to visit Brandeis

There's a right way to deal with Fred Phelps and his gang of lunatics- and that's to ignore them. And I've got a feeling that's not going to happen. People are going to confront them. They're going to protest them loudly. They're going to try to talk them out of being hatemongers. And they're going to have candlelight vigils. Probably before, during and after Phelps is on campus.

I do like this idea, though- a group is going to donate to a gay Jewish charity for every minute Phelps appears.

Up Goes Frazier!

Good to see the Vikings get a deserved and drama-free victory Sunday over the Redskins, in Leslie Frazier's debut as coach. Sure, it's way too late, and wins will screw up the team's draft position. But still, quite a palette cleanser after the Childress chaos.

Sunday was a great day for men named Leslie- until about 9 p.m., anyway.

Music Critic Quote of the Week

Deadspin declares war on Taylor Swift:

I don't understand all the fuss. Taylor Swift makes training bra music. Her shit is one step removed from a Fisher Price Little People CD. Every record she sells should come with a complimentary pack of Spree. If you're over fourteen, you shouldn't want anything to do with it. But no, every fucking adult music critic on Earth fawns over this girl and protects her like she's some kind of goddamn forest pixie. SHE'S SO MATURE FOR AGE! SHE HANDLED THAT KANYE SITUATION SO WELL! SHE'S SO ARTICULATE! No, seriously. Someone wrote that.

Swift's thoughtful honesty and surprisingly articulate take on life should be commended.

What is this, a fucking report card? HOORAY! SHE'S ALMOST 21 AND HAS THE ABILITY TO SPEAK! And since when is this chick honest? Have you heard some of these lyrics?

Electronics and Porn

Home Theater Review, a month away from CES/the AVN show, looks at the relationship between the two industries. I'm going to one of the shows in January; see if you can guess which one.

Fight!

During Sunday's Texans/Titans game, a hockey fight broke out:

Sure, they'll probably both be suspended, which is good news for the Eagles, since they play the Texans Thursday. But come on, let's not have hand-wringing. No one got hurt, there were no concussions. Everyone who saw it thought it was entertaining.

The "L.A. Law" Wikipedia Hole

Loved this Onion piece. I loved "L.A. Law" as a kid, even though I was way too young to understand anything about it, and as re-runs a few years ago proved, it wasn't that great a show.

Reviving the Gummi Bears

From Jimmy Fallon, a cover of one of my favorite TV themes ever:

Quote of the Day

Alex Pareene, as part of his ranking of the "Hack 30," tees off on Bush speechwriter/torture booster/columnist Marc Thiessen:

But while the worst thing about Thiessen as a person is his unequivocal support for torture, the worst thing about hiring him to pen an Op-Ed column is that he's a boring, predictable columnist. The man got famous for arguing that plainly illegal treatment of prisoners is in fact both legal and necessary, and then he writes columns about how earmarks are bad. It's like telling Torquemada to film a TV pilot and he comes back with a three-camera sitcom about a lovable fat guy dealing with family life.

Jeter Would Have a Big Head in Philly

I'm not sure which is more horrifying, the idea of Jeter playing for the Phillies, or this picture.

If You Don't Like It, Put a Ring on It

Have you seen those commercials on Fox's NFL coverage, with the slogan "It's Good to Have a Ring," in which the members of the Fox NFL broadcast team who have won Super Bowl rings- Jimmy Johnson, Terry Bradshaw, Michael Strahan, Howie Long, Troy Aikman- get special treatment everywhere they go, while those who haven't- Joe Buck, Curt Menefee, Jay Glazer, Frank Caliendo- can only look on with insane jealousy. Here's an example:

There are two things very wrong with the campaign: One, it's a clear ripoff of a 10-year-old running joke on TNT's NBA studio show, in which Kenny Smith constantly mocks Charles Barkley for never having won a championship ring, while Smith has two. And two, the reason Buck, Glazer, Menefee, et. al haven't won a ring is because THEY NEVER PLAYED PROFESSIONAL FOOTBALL. That, to me, is more of a dividing line between the two groups than the Super Bowl ring thing.

Plus, the reason the Smith/Barkley joshing works is because you get the sense Barkley really is upset that he never got a ring while Smith, a far inferior player, did. Smith, on the other hand, doesn't make fun of Ernie Johnson for not being an NBA champion, probably because he never thought to, since Johnson is a lifelong broadcaster who never played in the NBA.

If Buck is jealous of his co-workers it's probably because they actually got to play, rather than be handed plum gigs in multiple sports due entirely to nepotism the way he did.

Tsuyoshi Nishioka!

The Twins won the bidding for the Japanese batting champion, at least partially clearing up their infield picture for 2011. The Twins have never really signed Japanese guys before- the only previous Japanese Twin was pitcher Michael Nakamura, who pitched 12 games for them in 2003.

And if you Google "Japanese Twins," most of the results have nothing to do with Nishioka.

A Coxswain's Courage

The best SI piece of the year is Chris Ballard's story this week about Jill Costello, the coxswain of the University of California's crew team who continued to compete for the team her senior year even after being diagnosed with late-stage cancer. This sort of story so often succumbs into Rick Reilly-like schmaltz, but Ballard did a great, great job, and I could see a great movie being made about this story.

DeLay to Jail

News Item: Tom DeLay convicted on money laundering charges

I had no idea DeLay was even on trial- might have been a good thing for the Democrats to mention when they were running to prevent a GOP takeover of Congress- but great result nonetheless. Even a cursory look at DeLay's record- if not for the Abramoff stuff alone- shows that jail is probably too good for him.

RIP Leslie Nielson

One of the great comedy actors of the past four decades is dead. The "Naked Gun" trilogy, "Police Squad," "Airplane"... you name it. My favorite of his work, the baseball sequence from the first "Naked Gun":

Enrico Palazzo! Enrico Palazzo!

Movie Critic Quote of the Week

Andrew Dignan, via Twitter, on "Fair Game":

Can we just all agree the Bush/Cheney presidency is the worst thing that ever happened to the US & never make a movie on the subject again?

Sports Radio Quote of the Day:

Rock DJ Spike, aka Howard Eskin's son:

Let’s go back to school for a minute here with a multiple choice quiz. Tell me which one of the following statements is true:

A) Philadelphia sports fans are the most loyal, most supportive, most dedicated sports fans in the United States.
B) Philadelphia sports fans are the most temperamental, nasty, vindictive, mean fans in the United States.

If you live here, you probably answered A. If you don’t live in Philly, you probably answered B. Here’s the thing: You’re both right.
 Passion is a funny thing. Passion is an intense feeling that can sometimes make you do things you otherwise wouldn’t. Good, and bad.

Soccer Critic Quote of the Day

A correspondent on Simmons' chat Friday:

As I see it, the hardcore fans think 1) you're a moron if you don't like and can't appreciate the beauty of soccer. Then, if you start showing some interest in it, 2) you're a moron because you don't know the intricate details of the game, like the difference between Iniesta and Xavi, or you like the World Cup the most. Finally, 3) you're a moron and a bandwagon jumper if you take a liking to a new team. Perhaps you need to start in the lower levels with Dag & Red or something and hope to get promoted through the levels.

Headline That Would Change A Lot With a Comma After "Blood"

Slate: "There Will Be Blood Pricks"

TV Critic Quote of the Day

Nancy Franklin on the Sarah Palin Show:

I can’t say what Palin is really up to with this show. She seems to want viewers to think that she’s conflicted about public life. She says that she’d “rather be doing this than in some stuffy old political office” and “a poor day of fishin’ beats even a great day of work.” In that spirit, I wish Palin many, many days—years—of fishin’, starting now.

Happy Thanksgiving

Arlo Guthrie tells a certain Thanksgiving story:

What's the Story?

I review "Morning Glory" on Philly.com. Much as I didn't like it, I'm sort of surprised it flopped.

Pandora 2.0

I really got a kick out of this comic strip. I hope Pandora doesn't share that with anyone.

Caged Fury

A montage of screaming Nicolas Cage:

They could've come up with four minutes just from "Bad Lieutenant: Port of Call New Orleans."

Two Great Sports Graphs

This one illustrates 2010 NFL parity, and this one shows every EPL team's kit.

Speaking of which, there's a whole book of them coming out.

Book Critic Quote of the Week

Paul Constant had the wonderful idea to dual-review George W. Bush's memoir with that of Tucker Max:

Read together―one hundred pages of one, then one hundred pages of the other, alternating back and forth for 900 pages―they form a nearly seamless biography of a single human being, a sociopathic, overentitled bro who takes a sadistic glee in his own monstrous behavioral flaws.

Coral is Not His Miss Elizabeth

Remember how the "Real World: Back to New York" season ended with cast member Mike running around the house with a mock championship belt? Now he's really the WWE champion:

Between that and Sean Duffy being elected to Congress, it's quite a year for Bunim-Murray alums.

The Suitcase

This Mark Bowden piece in Vanity Fair is one of the more fascinating true-crime stories I've ever read. And I'm sure some TV police procedural will borrow it and screw it up in the next six months.

Come Join the Joyride

Where can you read about a couple stealing a cart from Walmart and driving it to a strip club? In my latest Week in Electronics Retail Crime, of course.

Blitz Package

"How I Met Your Mother" continued its winning streak Monday with another very funny episode. It did what the show does best- moving very quickly, with the mythology sprinkled in, while also finding time for flashbacks within flashbacks.

And are we to assume that "Wang Guy" is an elaborate Brett Favre joke? Marshall is a Vikings fan, after all.

That said, the next interesting thing that happens with Jennifer Morrison's Zoe will be the first, and it would make zero sense for her to be the mother. Theory someone on the AV Club had: Zoey's daughter-in-law is, in fact, the Mother. Hmm- Kyle MacLachlan would be an AWESOME father-in-law.

Also, if this episode is any indication, Jorge Garcia's post-"Lost" career is limited, I fear, if all he's going to do is make "Lost" jokes and pretty much play Hurley.

Today's Tom Sawyer

So the guy who had his colostomy bag burst by TSA is named... Tom Sawyer? That's just awesome.

I don't love the idea of these invasive scans and patdowns. Airport security as is is a huge waste of time and I largely agree with the Jeffrey Goldberg "security theater" position. They even searched my son when we flew earlier this year, I guess acting on Louie Gohmert's "terror babies" theory.

But I think it's hilarious that during the Bush years anyone who questioned anything homeland security did was labeled an America-hater, but under Obama suddenly it's the right that fears the government jackboot. And calling Janet Napolitano "Big Sis" is just vile. You know Drudge would rather refer to her as "Big Fat Lesbian" but resists out of half-hearted decency.

Worst Movie Critic Quote of the Year

I didn't think the Andrea Peyser "Kids Are All Right is lesbian propaganda" piece could be topped, but here's Debbie Schlussel on "Waiting For 'Superman'":

The movie goes out of its way to avoid putting any responsibility on urban “families” and their deviant lifestyles–which are now the norm, since deviance has been defined down–for the sad state of American kids’ intellectual capabilities and levels of knowledge.  That would be “racism,” and we can’t dare call out Black America (and, now, a significant portion of White America, including Bristol Palin) for sleeping around, fathering and giving birth to kids, and putting them in this environment.  But that’s a huge part of the problem.  Many of these kids will never have the IQ required to become doctors and scientists and engineers, whether it’s because their parents did drugs and/or didn’t get proper neo-natal care and vitamins when they were conceived and/or in the womb, or because they just don’t have it. ... The one single mother in the movie is shown to be extremely concerned about her child’s education, working hard to pay for her to go to Catholic school, and insisting that she will go to college, no matter what. Let’s be honest.  Is this really what the average Black single mother in urban America is like?  Absolutely not.  If it were, things would be much different. And if this single mother had made better choices (like not having sex and having a kid out of wedlock), she wouldn’t be in this position, or maybe she’d have a husband who could help pay to keep her daughter in private school.

Godspeed, Chilly

News Item: Vikings fire Brad Childress

My son was born January 15 of this year. Two days later, the Vikings beat the Cowboys in the divisional playoffs, and a week after that, they lost the NFC championship game to New Orleans, coming within a stupid 12-men-on-the-field penalty and a Favre interception of the Super Bowl.

That team's coach, Brad Childress, didn't make it to Noah's first birthday. He was fired today, in a move that surprised just about no one, following yet another embarrassing loss. Noah didn't enjoy the game especially; he spit up all over his dad's Vikings jersey at some point during the second quarter.

Even though Childress had a fair amount of success as coach- 10-6 and 12-4 seasons, multiple playoff appearances, a near-Super Bowl last year- Vikings fans hated him pretty much all along. There were many reasons: his abrasive personality (an especially bad fit for Minnesota), his feuds with numerous players, his often-inexplicable in-game decisions, his obsession with signing every Eagles cast-off from Hank Baskett to Mike McMahon to Todd Pinkston.

But worst of all, perhaps, was his insistence on more or less giving up control of the team to Brett Favre, as well as not coming up with a long-term quarterback solution.

I defended Childress for most of this time, but everything that happened this year, especially the Moss trade/cut, was the smoking gun for me. Still though, he's far from the worst coach in Vikings history; I'd put Mike Tice below him and Les Steckel too.

Leslie Frazier takes over, and while he's highly regarded, the defense hasn't exactly set the world on fire this year. So now the team enters what's likely to be a rebuilding period. That third-round pick they gave up for one month of Randy Moss would've helped.

A couple of bright spots from Sunday: Taco From "The League" in the Vikings owners' box! Does this mean he and Zygi Wilf are Eskimo Brothers?

And Adrian Peterson's new Verizon commercial, in which the guy's bikini babe girlfriend literally turned into AP, was sublime. Reminded me of last year, when I noticed that a friend of a friend of mine on Facebook was named "Adrienne Peterson"- could a Vikings fan be justified in dating a player with the same name as his favorite male athlete?

Other than the final score, the worst part was Joe Buck rubbing it in by talking about how "gee, the Vikings might have to leave Minnesota if they don't get a new stadium." Gee, thanks for bringing that up.

The First-Place Eagles

The Eagles being 7-3 and in first place at Thanksgiving almost doesn't feel right. Just about every year I've lived in town, November has been the month that they've struggled, with everyone demanding Andy Reid's firing, before they inevitably have an undefeated December and make the playoffs.

But after beating the Giants last night, Philly is all alone in first place in the NFC East, heading into the month when they almost never lose. And I've got a feeling their Week 16 game against the Vikings isn't going to be much of a challenge for Philly.

One comment about Sunday night- Cris Collinsworth, at one point, said the following about Michael Vick (I paraphrase): "That's what you want to see, if you're the Giants- Vick, flat on his back, slow to get up, with his head bouncing off the ground." Wait, what? Is he rooting for Vick to be injured? And a head injury specifically? At least he said that before Ellis Hobbs was stretchered off the field.

Best Video Game Title Ever

Appletell, one of my company's sites, reviews a wonderful iPhone game called "Worms 2: Armageddon."

I love the implication there, that back in "Worms 1" the worms were pretty bad. But now that they've returned for "Worms 2" they're even worse- to the point of it being armageddon. And not just a regular armageddon- it's WORM armageddon!

The Bridge is Out!

A Chicago morning show spends minutes building up a planned bridge demolition- then misses the actual demolition:

Every link I saw to this video described what happened afterwards as an "on-air meltdown" or "implosion" but come on- that was pretty tame. I guess that's the Midwestern version of an "implosion"- but if that happened on the East Coast it would've led to actual on-air fisticuffs.

Steve Jobs vs. the Snuggie Sutra

My college colleague Lex Friedman, who wrote a book about the "Snuggie Sutra" (it's exactly what you think it is), tells the story of how Apple rejected his Snuggie Sutra app.

Bye Bye Beck

News Item: Hannity, Beck going off the air in Philly

It's part of a shakeup on 1210, in which Michael Smerconish will move to afternoons and go national, with Dom Giordano taking over Beck's midday slot.

I'm all for any move that reduces the influence of Sean Hannity and Glenn Beck, but Smerconish leaving mornings means I'll really have nothing to listen to in the mornings starting in January. Can't anyone in Philly program a listenable morning show?

The Best Product Ever Named After the Orgy Password From "Eyes Wide Shut"

I review the nifty new Philips Fidelio iPod dock at E-Gear.com.

Stewart vs. Beck

Stewart goes back into Beck-impression mode, in two parts:

Beck really criticized Soros for backing the Velvet Revolution? He knows that helped collapse Communism, right?

Beasley!

Yes, there is hope for the T-Wolves yet:

Beasley, Kevin Love, Wesley Johnson, and if they can get Ricky Rubio to come over next year along with a high draft pick? Hmm...

"Lincoln" Lives

News Item: Steven Spielberg to direct "Lincoln" movie; Daniel Day-Lewis to play Honest Abe.

Great director, great actor, great book. How can it not be a great movie?

Exit Wilbon

News Item: Michael Wilbon leaving Washington Post, going full time to ESPN.

Assuming he keeps column-writing, I'm sure I'll keep reading Wilbon on my RSS feed as before and will interact with his work no differently than I ever have. Still, it's sad- inevitable, but still sad- to see the best writers moving away from print. I'm also going to miss Wilbon's excellent Chat House chats every Monday, which will remain entertaining as long as the Redskins stay terrible.

What Fox Really Thinks of Palin

And I love that they all know the New York Times' TV critic by name. I'm sure she'll say they're wolves going after a baby grizzly, or some other such bullshit, and demand Fox fire them all.

Crowe Quixote

I review the underwhelming thriller "The Next Three Days" on Philly.com.

Snyder's Greatest Hits

The Washington City Paper has a wonderful A-Z listing of every bad thing Daniel Snyder has done in his 11 years running the Washington Redskins. I genuinely feel sorry for anyone who has to root for this team.

Much as people bitch about the Eagles' management, a Lurie/Banner version of this will last about one page.

Noah Times 10

Ten months, that is, in his new blog post.

Pam on Demand

LGF has come up with my favorite web thing of the year- the Pam Geller rant generator!: It's really totally indistinguishable from the real thing.

Sports Radio Moment of the Day

On 97.5 the Fanatic's "Fanatic Hour," callers were asked to quickly answer the question of who is responsible for the Eagles' current success, Andy Reid or Michael Vick? About ten callers in a row answered Vick, one guy said Vick has been such a dominant part of the success that Reid should be fired, and another expressed doubt that Reid had actually called the plays in Sunday's 59-28 victory. No one thought to give the correct answer: Both.

Save "Terriers"

I'm with Alan Sepinwall- please watch the last three episodes of this gem of the show.

Smushing Bristol

This is more than slightly horrifying:

They have had sex. I promise you. They have.

But Think of All the Good Shows!

News Item: "Two and a Half Men" renewed for seven years in syndication

Sparkles 3: The Sparkling

This "How I Met Your Mother" season has been uneven, to say the least- the love-interest storyline is going nowhere, the laughs haven't been much more plentiful than last year, and the show still feels like it's spinning its wheels until the other arrives. But Monday's episode was a home run, thanks especially to the wonderful, double-entendre-laden Robin Sparkles TV show "Space Teens" (see here, starting at 4:00 mark.)

I love the implication that Alan Thicke was some sort of svengali/pederast.

The View From DC

A radio guy in Washington didn't take Monday's game so well:

59-28

Yes, I'd say the Eagles are pretty good, huh? Vick's comeback would totally be the stuff of a Disney movie, except that it would have to have a first act in which he murders dogs and then spends time in prison.

The Republicans' Clinton Nostalgia

They loved him! They really did!

Quote of the Day

Adam of ALOTT5MA:

In ESPN fantasy football leagues, any trade offers not accepted by the start of Sunday's games are canceled by the system. By contrast, in CBSSports leagues like the Vai Sikahema Football League (now in its glorious XIIth season, and Isaac did indeed kick my ass this week), a trade offer can linger on the system indefinitely, and a careless owner can find himself surprised when a long-abandoned-and-forgotten offer is suddenly accepted after a player involved enjoys a reversal of fortune.

In related news, Donovan McNabb signed a 5-year, $78M ($40M guaranteed) contract extension in Washington today, agreeing to a deal whose terms were in place since October

Bloggingheads Covers Billy Joel

This was very silly but I loved it anyway:

Obama/McNabb Parallel, Cont'd

Wall Street Journal Editorial Page: "Obama's Air Guitar"

Monday NFL Thoughts

- Well, I'd say the Vikings' season was fun while it lasted, but it really wasn't. They got beat, bad, by the Bears in Chicago Sunday to fall to 3-6, and their playoff hopes are just about dead. But don't worry, Brad Childress hasn't been fired yet so that drama will drag on for another week, too.

At this point, the only question I've concerned with is who will be quarterback next year. Donovan McNabb?* Kevin Kolb? Cam Newton? Ryan Mallet?

- I was far enough north in New Jersey that I was in the New York market for Sunday's games and I must say- those local car commercials with Mark Sanchez and Eli Manning are very, very funny. And I'm sure everyone there hates them or is sick of them.

- As for the Eagles, they play McNabb and the Redskins tonight, and while it's hard to imagine these Eagles losing twice in one year to an inferior Redskins team, Donovan does have a career-long history of having huge games the week after every major controversy. The Anti-Eagles Movement, I'm sure, will make fun of Donovan if the Eagles win, and Andy Reid if they lose.

- Speaking of Andy, you have to give him some credit at this point. It looks as though he got rid of McNabb at the right time, he signed Vick when everyone else in the world slammed him for it, and he picked Vick over Kolb when every sign said to do the opposite. Do you know how many coaches never make ANY smart quarterback decisions?

- And speaking of Vick, the consensus among Eagles fans, most of whom spent the '09 season decrying Vick as a monster and the team for signing him, now demand that he be given an extension, immediately.

By why is that? Shouldn't they wait until the end of the season to decide between Vick and Kolb? If there's a strike/lockout, won't rosters be frozen until it's settled, and won't they not even know the rules until then? And the question no one is asking is, what if Vick has another off-field slip-up? Isn't he still one strike away from lifetime banishment?

Speaking of which, I liked this quote from last week's female fill-in in Deadspin's Jamboroo:

"We're on the brink of a wonderful situation in which all the no-funs who vowed to forfeit the game eternally rather than, say, tolerate Vick now find themselves on the brink of sad obsolescence. It's like at a party when some girl gets offended because someone tried to cop a feel or something and she's all "come on, Jenny, we're leaving" to her tagalong friend and stomps on out the door. Then she waits a few seconds, scoffs audibly, pulls out her phone, studies it, calls Jenny, gets voicemail, scoffs again, glares at the door, shakes her head, marches back in, and finds Jenny sitting on some dude's lap and snorting a line off the table. ("It's just Ritalin!" Jenny says nervously, before straightening up and flipping her hair. "You don't have to wait for me. Christian said he'd give me a ride.")

*And... McNabb has signed an extension with Washington. Another dream dies.

Sports Announcer Critic Quote of the Day

Doug Farrar of Football Outsiders on the Matt Millen/Joe Theissman-called Thursday night football game:

"This has been an absolute abomination- a complete and total embarrassment, and one of the worst-called sporting events I've ever seen. Whoever made the call to put these guys in the booth together and leave Mike Mayock out should be fired for incompetence. You know you're in Bizarro World when Joe Sunshine is the best guy in the booth. Bob Papa has had a rare off right, and I can’t really blame him – I’d imagine that being in the booth with Matt Millen is kind of like being an air traffic controller in the second half of the “Airplane” movie."

Headline of the Year Nominee

Yardbarker: McNabb Benching Story Enters Final Day

As the "why in the world did they give him that contract" story begins!

Cowherd on Cowherd

Dan Levy reacts to the inexplicable news that Colin Cowherd's life has been optioned for a sitcom, the exact way Cowherd would.

How Did They Know It Wasn't Really McNulty?

News Item: Caller to Baltimore sun city desk plans evening around number of shootings in city

Quote of the Day

Steve Kornacki in Salon, making fun of "Democratic pollsters" Pat Caddell and Douglas Schoen, whose advice to Obama always boils down to "give the Republicans everything they want":

Chances are that, on some level, Caddell and Schoen understand this. In the past few years, they’ve essentially established themselves as professional self-loathing Democrats -- supposed experts with important-sounding credentials who will sound off (often in Rupert Murdoch’s Wall Street Journal or on Fox News) about their dismay that the Democratic Party and its leaders are committing political suicide. Never mind that the party has won the popular vote in four of the past five presidential elections and never mind the Democrats’ success in 2006 and 2008: In Caddell/Schoen World, the Democratic Party is perpetually wheezing out its final breaths, a victim of its refusal to take seriously the criticisms of Sean Hannity and Bill O’Reilly.

A Prince of a Guy

Flip Flop Flying gives us a Very Short Film About Minnesota. I love it.

Coming in 2035

News Item: Guns 'n' Roses planning follow-up to "Chinese Democracy"

"Lethal Weapon 5!"

"It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia" got off to something of a slow start this year, but the last three weeks have featured two of the best episodes in the show's history: the Halloween party flashback episodes- featuring the McPoyles and Dee as an ostrich- and this week's "Lethal Weapon 5" mini-movie:

The Danny DeVito part is my favorite- his Indian chief-villain borrows the voice of DeVito as the Penguin, while his sex scene is a near shot-for-shot remake of the softcore scenes in "The Room." All it was missing is "You Are My Rose."

E-Tomb

BajillionHits strikes again with some tips on bringing "strat" to your next funeral.

"Morning Glory" and Shit

The new movie "Morning Glory" has gotten some decent reviews but I didn't care for it. Despite Rachel McAdams being adorable and Harrison Ford having a lot of fun, it's a rehash of "Broadcast News," except that it sides with the equivalent of the William Hurt character.

The other problem? The fictional network in the movie is called "IBS." Yes, like Irritable Bowel Syndrome. That was the basis of the entire review of the movie by Lindy West.

What is the Deal With Economics?

This nifty website finds economic lessons in various "Seinfeld" episodes.

Quote of the Day

Rick Perlstein:

The only number that matters is the one demonstrating that by a two-to-one margin likely voters thought their taxes had gone up, when, for almost all of them, they had actually gone down. Republican politicians, and conservative commentators, told them Barack Obama was a tax-mad lunatic. They lied. The mainstream media did not do their job and correct them. The White House was too polite—"civil," just like Obama promised—to say much. So people believed the lie. From this all else follows.

Sports Radio Moment of the Day

A WIP caller this week's argument for re-signing Jayson Werth: "This city loves a winner. Especially these days."

Of course it does. Every city and every fanbase of every team always loves a winner, all the time, always.

Kim Jong-Palin

Apparently, a Republican Congressman is in danger of losing a probable committee chairmanship. Did he have an affair? Embezzle money? Oh no. He just criticized a half-term former governor and failed vice presidential candidate:

The early assumption that Alabama Republican Spencer Bachus would take over the panel has been set aside now that California’s Ed Royce has entered the race and has won, it should be noted, the backing of former Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin.

Palin’s interest may be more personal than political. After all Bachus did tell a local Alabama paper that her involvement in the recent round of primaries cost the GOP control of the Senate.

Isn't getting ostracized for mere criticism of the Dear Leader something that only happens in, say, North Korea or Cuba?

Now With 100% More Teeth

Noah's got a new blog post, covering his recent trip to Minnesota and the arrival of his first tooth.

Whatever Happened to Shyne?

Were you wondering what happened to rapper Jamal "Shyne" Barrow, who was sentenced to a decade in jail for his role in the Diddy/J. Lo shooting of 2000? The New York Times catches up with him. If you guessed, "living in Israel, converted to Orthodox Judaism, using the name 'Moses Levi' and plotting a rap comeback," well, you win.

Eckstein Award Nominee

Ahtyba Rubin, the starting nose tackle for the Cleveland Browns. He may be helping lead the Browns' unlikely resurgence, but no, he's not a Jew. He is, however, Rubinesque.

Sort of Like Finding Out a Politician I Don't Really Like Thinks Global Warming Isn't Real

News Item: Bud Selig endorses debunked theory that Abner Doubleday invented baseball

FireJoeMorgan's Work Here is Done

News Item: ESPN removes Joe Morgan from broadcast booth

The site folded three years ago but I've kept it on my RSS reader anyway, just on the off-chance they decide to return- and now is as good a time as any for a valedictory, right? Ken Tremendous did comment on Twitter, though.

Yuengling Everywhere!

News Item: Yuengling availability set to expand

Yuengling Lager (or as they call it in Philly, "Lager") has been my favorite beer for years, even before I lived here. For a long time it was available in Hoboken but not New York City, but it's been steadily expanding; they even had it in Atlanta when I was there this fall. This news is quite welcome.

They Finally Might Get Him Back!

News Item: Ryne Sandberg may be hired as Phillies' Triple-A manager

I don't want to hear about the Cliff Lee deal, in which the Phils only lost one year of Lee- the trade of Sandberg, when he was still in the minors, was the worst trade in Phillies history. Bringing him back into the organization won't undo that, but it will give Ryno's career a neat bit of symmetry.

Chilly Lives

I flew back today from a weekend with family in Minnesota, and after watching the first half of the Vikings game, I legitimately was wondering if Brad Childress would still be the Vikings' coach when my plan landed.

But somehow, someway, the Vikings pulled off a comeback and beat the Cardinals, thanks to two late scores and one of Brett Favre's best-ever statistical games, and brought their record to 3-5. I watched Ryan Longwell kick the winning field goal at the airport, just steps away from the Larry Craig bathroom.

I don't have much hope for the season; just about everyone on the team is having a worse year than last year, the fan base is ready to revolt against Brad Childress, and it looks like the team is too. Still, a win is always nice to see.

On Friday night, I saw another struggling Minnesota team, the Wolves, who lost to Atlanta. The team was behind the entire game, but at least they played with energy, and I was pleasantly surprised by how full and into the crowd was. The entire lower bowl of Target Center was full, which wasn't bad considering how many years the team has been bad.

Recount!

And the big political story in Minnesota is... another recount!

This time, at least, the race between Democratic ex-senator Mark Dayton and Republican Tom Emmer isn't going to drag on for six months- Dayton seems to have an insurmountable lead.

The things I don't understand are three: After 20 years of no Democratic governor, we finally get one, and... it's Mark Dayton? There were about 20 people running for governor across both parties, and the winner is... Mark Dayton? And both houses of the state legislature go Republican, but the governor is going to be... Mark Dayton???

A Pregnant Crime

I look at the latest in electronics retail crime in my latest Dealerscope column.

No Cross-Dressing This Time

I review Tyler Perry's "For Colored Girls"- a movie, it's safe to say, that wasn't made with me in mind- on Philly.com.

Noah-vember

Noah talks about his first Halloween in his newest blog post.

2010 Election Thoughts

So after a disaster in which the Democrats lose 60 or so House seats and control of the House, they still control the White House and Senate. Presidents have had it worse.

It should be a fascinating two years. I don't expect a whole lot to get done, but then however much of Obama's agenda was going to pass had already passed in the first two years. I see tonight as being 95% about the economy, as opposed to a repudiation of health care or liberalism or America referring to its natural center-right state or whatever.

Now, it sets the stage for 2012, when the economy will presumably be better, there will have been infighting between the Republican leadership and elected Tea Partiers- as the GOP presidential contenders fight each other concurrently- and the Dems will be in better position.

Still, very sad to see certain people go- most notably Feingold, Sestak, Patrick Murphy, and a few others.

I don't see Alan Grayson's loss as a repudiation of far leftism; I see it as a repudiation of unhinged screaming and character assassination.

I was very, very happy to see Tom Tancredo lose. And Carl Paladino and Sharron Angle too. As for Christine O'Donnell, I can't believe she accidentally said "we won!" during her concession speech, much of which was spent begging Chris Coons to oppose the estate tax. She'll be a Fox News Contributor within two weeks.

Harry Reid's win means we'll be spared the likely embarrassing spectacle of Senate Majority Leader Chuck Schumer.

Congressman Jon Runyan. That's going to take some getting used to. He was playing in the NFL 10 months ago.

Sean Duffy is the first "Real World," "Road Rules," or Challenge alum elected to Congress. This is a guy I've got a feeling will be running for president in a few years, with his wife becoming either a Palin, an Elisabeth Hasselbeck, or possibly both.

Eight years later than he wanted it, Andrew Cuomo is governor of New York.

In terms of coverage, I toggled between MSNBC and CNN with a little bit of Fox thrown in. My favorite thing of the night? Lester Holt reporting from a set that looked like the Holodeck, complete with a panoramic cityscape behind him with landmarks from every major city. Just awesome- too bad they stopped using it after a couple of hours.

Dumbest comment of the night? William Bennett, on the California marijuana thing, referring to "all of the families" that have been hurt by marijuana and how strong it is these days.

And just when we got done with the nepotism of Joe Buck for the year... here's Luke Russert!

One Election Prediction

After the Republicans win the House tonight, it will become a talking point about among some on the crazy right- the talk radio types, Michele Bachmann, Steve King, etc.- that President Obama should resign. They're going to claim that he was roundly rejected by the voters, they clearly spoke, and it amounts to a "no-confidence vote," and therefore the president (and Biden, too, I guess) should immediately step aside.

I assure you- someone will say this.

Remembering the Montgomery Car Boycott

Stewart is on:

Be Afraid, White People!

Rachel Maddow shows what the election is really about:

Visit msnbc.com for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy

My favorite part is the apropos-of-nothing suggestion that "we don't know where Obama's campaign money came from- maybe it was Hamas!"

Quote of the Day

Alex Pareene:

The problem with Breitbart isn't that he's conservative, or even that he's a huge jerk, it's that he lies. He lies, on purpose, in order to advance his political agenda. Obviously becoming famous and rich by lying all the time is his right, and God Bless America, but it does not make sense for a news organization to decide that it should invite someone to lie to their viewers. That seems kind of disrespectful to your audience!

Memo to "objective" non-Fox News professionals: Breitbart's followers will never like you. Never! They will always hate you and consider you biased no matter how many conservatives you grovel to. All you're doing is rewarding horrible behavior.

Exit Moss

Seems like a couple of times a decade, the Vikings have a year in which everything just goes completely to hell, both on and off the field. 2010 is one of those years, especially with today's news that the team has waived Randy Moss, less than a month after surrendering a third round pick for him.

So on top of the Favre circus, we now have the departure of Moss, which Brad Childress supposedly orchestrated without the knowledge of the ownership or front office. My assumption when I heard the news was that Favre had demanded Moss' release and threatened to retire if it didn't happen.

I wasn't really on the "Fire Childress" bandwagon- the guy's clearly never been popular and the fans have never liked him, but they've been generally successful in his tenure- until today. This season is a complete disaster, and the team is probably a major rebuilding project away from being good again, with a new quarterback and a whole bunch of other new players, and I don't know that I want Chilly supervising that. And when it is time to rebuild, that third round pick sure would've helped.

Giants Win

Congrats to the San Francisco Giants, who won the World Series tonight for their first title in San Francisco. They did it in a way that no team ever has before, with a lineup full of journeymen and castoffs. San Fran is a great baseball town, with one of the best ballparks, and I salute their victory.

McNabb Can't Run the Two-Minute Drill! I Just Remembered!

The Redskins' decision to bench Donovan McNabb Sunday led to quite a bit of schadenfreude on the Philadelphia airwaves Monday- Mike Missanelli, for his part, carried the entire Mike Shanahan press conference live during his show- but I was particularly interested in something Howard Eskin said on his show Monday.

Eskin has generally been pro-McNabb over the years, but since his departure Howard has joined the rest of the WIP on-air staff in taking cheap shots at him; it's in line with Eskin's traditional m.o. of turning viciously against any player the Eagles are either feuding with or have recently gotten rid of.

Monday, Eskin shared that he has heard from unnamed "NFL sources"- people who know what they're talking about- that McNabb in his years with the Eagles often had trouble during the two-minute drill, including having trouble understanding the plays and executing them. Saying so caused cohost Ike Reese -an ex-Eagle who played with McNabb- to react incredulously, and the two screamed at each other for several minutes.

So here's what's odd: What Eskin said has generally been part of the anti-McNabb critique for a decade- it's nothing new. Eskin is super-close with the Eagles organization, so it's clear that the "sources" are probably from the Eagles- who else would have such intimate knowledge? So why didn't these sources ever tell Eskin this before now?

If Eagles sources were saying this, on the record, it would be newsworthy, because they'd be admitting something they never had before. But since we don't know for a fact they ARE Eagles sources, it isn't.

And of course, it's not necessarily right, since McNabb did in fact lead a whole bunch of two-minute-drill comebacks in his years with the Eagles.

Obama Bingo

TNR offers a bingo card for the likely stated reasons for Tuesday night's election result.

Quote of the Day

Warming Glow on Charlie Sheen's latest cocaine binge

Screw this guy. He was born into a family of actors, had everything in life served to him on a plate, and with that head start he spent two decades doing drugs and being a violent A-hole to women. The world will be better off without him. Especially since it means the cancellation of “Two and a Half Men.”

Much Crazier Than Charlie Sheen

Ladies and gentlemen, the Quaids!:

I really hope this is a Joaquin Phoenix-like hoax, and they're not sincere.

The Favre Circus Continues

He played! He got hurt again! They lost again! It was just like four other weeks this year! Of course this time, Randy Moss went nuts after the game, Tarvaris Jackson actually played, and well, now they're 2-5.

At least we're not the Cowboys.

I'm just wondering why it's so necessary that Favre's streak continue through the end of the year. Didn't Cal Ripken voluntarily give it up a little before he retired? No one looks down on him for that, right?

On Sanity

I caught most of the Rally to Restore Sanity/Fear on TV Saturday- I have the parts I missed on the DVR- and it looked to me like a success. Huge, huge crowd, the comedy was pretty funny, and the ultimate message was coherent and hard to disagree with. For a certain demographic- educated, irony-loving white liberals- it was like Woodstock.

The question can be asked- wouldn't a straight liberal rally have made more sense, especially since the exact same crowd would've gone along with and agreed with it? Perhaps. Would it have helped the Democrats on Tuesday? Not necessarily.

Clint in Heaven

I review the lackluster "Hereafter" on Philly.com.

Big Love, RIP

News Item: Upcoming fifth season of "Big Love" will be last.

Good idea. "Big Love" has thus far followed the exact trajectory of the previous HBO show "Six Feet Under"- inventive first season, second and third seasons that each improved upon the last, and a fourth season that was a complete and other trainwreck. Hopefully "Big Love" can continue the pattern with a recovery in the fifth and last year, culminating in a finale that's the best episode of the entire series.

The Poison Candy Hoax

I was always skeptical about the whole fear of "poison candy" on Halloween- but the Incidental Economist shows that there are precisely zero cases in history of such a thing ever happening.

The War on Hummus

This video makes me want to head right over to that supermarket (near Penn, on Walnut Street) and buy some Israeli Hummus:

I don't care what the cause is- no one can pull this sort of thing and not look like a complete idiot.