AC, BABY, AC!: I went to Atlantic City on Friday night for the first time in awhile, and it was a lot of fun. I won $125 playing blackjack at the Trump Taj Mahal, which has essentially been turned into a 10,000 square foot commercial for "The Apprentice," complete with the show playing on monitors and the waitresses serving bottles of Trump Ice.
My two friends and I had an "Insomniac with Dave Attell" kind of evening, if you know what I mean, and it had been way too long. A few observations I can share:
- I saw several things that should be addenda to Bill Simmons' landmark "how to spot casino trash" column: I played blackjack next to a kid who appeared to be about 17, and had braces. Against the FMA as I am, I would wholeheartedly back a constitutional amendment that would disqualify anyone with braces- and that includes Tom Cruise- from gambling in any American casino.
- At another blackjack table, the guy next to me repeatedly shouted "show me monkey!" every time he drew a face card and wanted the other card to be an ace. Don't ask.
- I think the world would be a better place if when you hand your chips in to be cashed, the cashier quoted "Casablanca" and replied "your winnings, sir" as he or she handed back the cash. Can someone get Trump on the phone and demand this?