I THOUGHT TWICE, IT WASN'T ALL RIGHT, or TODAY'S NETFLIX MOVIE: Rabid Dylanologists, and fans of unintentional comedy, will love "Masked and Anonymous," though I'm not convinced anyone else will. The film, which marks Bob Dylan's first major film role in decades, is a melange of post-apocalyptic nonsense and celebrity cameos and was one of the most critically ravaged 2003 films this side of "Gigli," with Keith Phipps of the Onion AV Club getting in the best dig: "Dylan's performance doesn't offer any clues. He's an icon and he delivers an icon's performance, literally: He could easily have been replaced by piece of wood with his face painted on it."
In a war-torn America that more resembles a third-world country, Dylan stars as a past-his-prime rock troubadour brought out of jail to perform at a "benefit concert," for exactly what purpose is never really made clear. While Dylan is not playing himself by any means and in fact appears to be some sort of Christ figure, his music is nonetheless featured throughout.
Dylan's "performance" is similar to much of his recent music, in that it's monosyllabic and you can't understand a word he's saying; for most of the film he merely listens while the likes of Luke Wilson, Giovanni Ribisi, Val Kilmer, and Ed Harris (in blackface!) deliver nonsensical monologues. It also leaves intact Penelope Cruz's unblemished, six-year record of not appearing in a single watchable English-language film.
The film concludes with a climactic brawl between reunited "Big Lebowski" co-stars Jeff Bridges and John Goodman, which owes a debt to the WWF; folding chairs and guitars are used as weapons as though Hulk Hogan were wrestling the Honky Tonk Man.
"Masked and Anonymous" is pretty worthless except as comedy, which makes sense considering it was directed by longtime "Seinfeld" and "Curb Your Enthusiasm" writer/producer Larry Charles. They're saying now that Todd Haynes is set to begin work on an authorized biopic of Dylan; even if it's as weird as Haynes' previous work, it has to be better than "Masked and Anonymous."