ALL THAT PAZZ: Four things I learned from reading the entire Village Voice Pazz & Jop music critics' poll: 1) Andre 3000 now officially controls the universe, 2) Robert Christgau has regressed in his old age into even more of a simpering buffoon than before, 3) Everyone (including women) wants to nail Karen O, and 4) If Bush is re-elected in November, there will be a mass suicide of rock critics- which would be, if you ask me, the primary silver lining of such an event.
Meanwhile, without further ado, the three best quotes:
Second runner-up: "We love [50 Cent] like a fat kid loves cake." -Nick Catucci.
First runner-up: "I wish Big Boi and Andre 3000 were gay, and a couple, and advocates for gay marriage." -Smith Galtney.
Winner: "R. Kelly is party to a long tragicomic tradition. Johnny Ace lost at Russian roulette. Sam Cooke was shot in a low-rent motel. Otis Redding's plane crashed. Jackie Wilson had a stroke onstage. Al Green had steaming grits tossed on him. Marvin Gaye was assassinated by his cross-dressing father. Sly coked away his career. Bobby Brown married the queen and lost his kingdom. And then there's Michael Jackson. If you're the pre-eminent r&b loveman of your era, you are destined to be a huge fuckup."- Nelson George.