BACK TO LIFE, BACK TO REALITY: This time yesterday I was sitting by the pool in Florida, but now I'm back in New York, and it's real, real cold. Did you see the Patriots-Titans game last night, where you could see every player's breath in front of them? That's what it's like here.
For the last week I've had television and newspapers but no internet, so I haven't the slightest idea about what any blogger has had to say about anything. But regardless, just to show how much stuff can happen in one week, I thought I'd quickly go through the last seven days of news and provide my take on all that's happened, starting with sports and working my way out from there. Sure beats going outside...
PETE ROSE COMES CLEAN: I'll save my more extended comments on this super-story until a later date, except to say this: the conventional wisdom has always been that all Rose had to do was "come clean," and all would be forgiven. But what most people didn't realize is that Rose's support over the years has always been a mile wide and an inch deep- sure, people thought he'd been railroaded, but while they didn't necessarily believe he was innocent, they thought there was some reasonable doubt. But now that Rose has removed that- especially by doing so in such a dishonest, classless way- much of his support has evaporated. Now, it wouldn't surprise me if he didn't make the Hall at all.
MOLLY AND ECK MAKE THE HALL: Of course, one of the more objectionable parts of Rose's gambit was to announce it the week this year's Hall of Fame inductees were also introduced- and don't buy for a second that it "wasn't his intention"- it was exactly Rose's intention to steal their thunder.
At any rate, St. Paul native Molitor is the third Minnesotan (after old-timer Chief Bender and Dave Winfield) in the Hall- I'd like to hear why Jack Morris isn't the fourth- while Eckersley is the first closer of the modern era to make it. Yes, it makes me feel old to see players of my youth enshrined in Cooperstown- but I guess I dealt with that when Kirby Puckett when in three years ago.
STARBURY COMES HOME: With one trade, Isiah Thomas has made the New York Knicks the best team, on paper, in the Atlantic Division. So what if they've lost four straight since... Thomas has managed to rid the team of nearly every bad contract, while folding most of them into that of Penny Hardaway, who was among the NBA's best players as recently as four years ago.
True, this is the fourth time Stephon Marbury has been traded, and the previous three times the deals were received with rapturous reactions, and all three times the teams won precisely diddly-poo, as the father of the new Falcons coach would say. But I've got a feeling the Knicks are about to turn the corner, and I may actually someday by a ticket for one of their games, something I've had no desire to do in almost four years in New York.
GIBBS COMES HOME: Sure, I'd imagine the Redskins will improve quite a bit following the surprise hire of new coach Joe Gibbs. But everyone also said that after the team's two previous big-name hires- Marty Schottenheimer and Steve Spurrier- and we all know what happened there. Still though, Gibbs is about a hundred times the coach Tom Coughlin is.
RETURN OF DENNY: I'm happy to see Dennis Green back in the NFL as coach of the Arizona Cardinals for three reasons: 1) He's a helluva coach and it's good to see him back in the league, 2) I loved that red suit and white shirt he wore at the press conference, matching the teams colors, and 3) He seems poised to hire his former QB Sean Salisbury as quarterbacks coach, which would mean that obnoxious loudmouth will no longer appear on ESPN highlight shows. Way to go Denny!
GOVERNMENT CONTINUES SILICONE BREAST IMPLANT BAN: I always preferred the natural look, anyway. (Times story).
JESSE VENTURA TO TEACH AT HARVARD: The first true what-the-fuck story of the new year- what could Harvard have possibly been thinking? Don't they realize that the dumbest person in the class, whoever it is, will be smarter than the teacher?
THE HILLARY GANDHI GAFFE: Honestly, I thought it was funny. If the same joke had come out of George Carlin's mouth, no one would have objected for a second- and besides, how is such a caricature any more offensive than the Apu character on "The Simpsons"?
SPEAKING OF POLITICAL STEREOTYPING: I love that new RNC ad: "I think Howard Dean should take his tax-hiking, government-expanding, latté-drinking, sushi-eating, Volvo-driving, New York Times-reading, body piercing, Hollywood-loving, left-wing freak show back to Vermont, where it belongs." 'cause if you take every single American of whom at least one of the above is true, wouldn't you have at least 51% of the country?
WHICH ISN'T TO SAY DEAN CAN WIN: Most of the anti-Dean attacks from the other candidates, I admit, are nonsense- why pretend to be outraged that he said the Iowa caucuses are "controlled by special interests," when they are controlled by special interests? But I've got to admit that the "don't vote for a doctor, because doctors are assholes" line of reasoning is fast becoming my favorite anti-Dean argument of all.
SPRINGTIME FOR HITLER, I: But the most offensive political ad of the year is, of course, the one by MoveOn.org that subtitles Bush quotes to Hitler footage. Real classy guys- but what's even more offensive than the ad itself is that MoveOn is considered a key power broker in the Democratic party. Yikes.
SPRINGTIME FOR HITLER, II: Did I not predict this a year ago? There will be a second "Producers" movie, this time starring Nathan Lane and Matthew Broderick and based on the Broadway musical. Mel Brooks will produce but not direct; purists will scoff, sure, but I for one can't wait.
That's all for now; I'll be blogging all week but less, as I await the arrival of my new laptop...
Posted by Stephen Silver at January 11, 2004 01:50 PM