December 20, 2003
NEWS ITEM: Michael Jackson
NEWS ITEM: Michael Jackson joins the Nation of Islam. They said all the good Jacko jokes were already written ten years ago, but now we've got a new batch. Let's get right to it:
- I didn't know the Nation of Islam allowed white people.
- Or men who wear lipstick.
- I was under the impression plastic surgery was a no-no as well.
- I didn't think it was possible for the NOI to have any members more grotesque than Farrahkan, but I suppose I've been proven wrong.
- Aren't celebrities supposed to find Islam after going to jail, and not before?
- Does this mean Tommy Mottola is now a "white devil," as opposed to "devilish"?
- Will he now disavow his music, like Cat Stevens did?
- Grand prize goes to Colin Quinn: "This is bad news for the guys who were looking forward to raping him in prison- now that he's a Muslim, he's untouchable."
- One more thing- on the above New York Post front page, why is the phrase "9 Counts" rendered in the "Boston Red Sox" font? Don't tell me that's not intentional...