THE DIRRRRTY DIET: Us Weekly this week, for those dying to know, gives us the "skinny" on "How Christina [Aguilera] Lost the Weight," complete with two seemingly identical photos of the sickly-looking "sexy" siren.
While I am certainly proud of Xtina that she was able to drop from 90 pounds all the way back down to 80, I fear Miss Aguilera may be a bit passe, considering that US has relegated her to second-banana on the cover to that other anorexic young "hottie" with no discernable talent, Paris Hilton.
Expect a Christina sex tape to surface before Christmas, though as Triumph the Insult Comic Dog said of her MTV videos, "it's like watching porn, except the music's not as good."