June 23, 2003


IF ONLY THEY COULD INCARCERATE PEOPLE FOR STUPIDITY: Jose Canseco is heading to jail, on charges that he used steroids in violation of his parole from a 2001 assault charge.
Jose's guilty of a whole list of offenses: spousal abuse, steroid abuse, bar-room brawl abuse, egomania, pitching when he's not a pitcher, allowing a home run off the top of his head, poor fashion sense (who else gives a national TV interview while wearing a 'beater?), squandering what should have been a Hall of Fame career, and (worst of all) sleeping with Madonna. And while he can't be punished by law for all those things, I'm willing to live with one thing, as long as this national embarassment ends up behind bars.
Of course, Canseco's last few bad acts (the ESPN interview, as well as auctioning off days with him to fans) have taken place while the ex-star has been under house arrest. Thus proving my theory that no one can make house arrest look good. Except for Uncle Junior, of course.

Posted by Stephen Silver at June 23, 2003 04:38 PM
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