April 15, 2003

I'M SORRY, MISS LYNCH: Jessica

I'M SORRY, MISS LYNCH: Jessica Lynch, as we all know, is the heroic POW rescued in Iraq the week before last, and she is someone who undoubtedly deserves the sympathy and gratitude of a grateful nation. The internet, however, is another matter. Due to one of those odd little snafus that only Google and Blogger could make possible, I am now in position of owing Private Lynch a huge apology.
You see, on the day that Jessica was rescued in Iraq, I like most bloggers mentioned her name and talked about how wonderful it was that she escaped Iraq alive. Unfortunately, apparently I also had the word "nude" somewhere else on my blog at the time, and sure enough examination of my referral logs revealed that the pervs of the world had almost immediately begun searching for nude pictures of the ex-POW, and finding themselves at my decidedly nudity-free blog. So, perhaps foolishly, I posted a request that people perhaps not do stupid Google searches for things like "Jessica Lynch Nude."
Well that did it. My sitemeter logs started showing even more LynchPr0n-seeking searches per day, and then I figured out why: when one does a Google search of "Jessica Lynch Nude," in quotes, there is one and only one page on the entire internet that comes up as a result. You're looking at it.
This post itself is likely to result in even more such search hits- so if you're here for that purpose, welcome. And I apologize, but there are no nude photographs here of Jessica Lynch, nor Shoshana Johnson, nor Scott O'Grady, nor any other POW, nor of any other soldier, nor anyone else, for that matter. I can't imagine that any such pictures even exist; if they did, my blog certainly wouldn't be the first page to come up on Google. And most of all, if the first reaction you have to the rescue from behind enemy lines of a true American hero (a 19-year-old female, no less) is to go looking for naked pictures of her, then there's something wrong with you.
Besides, when I think of "nude Lynch pictures," my first thought is of the great lesbian sex scene in "Mulholland Drive." Yours should be too.

Posted by Stephen Silver at April 15, 2003 06:35 AM
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