IN THE GYMNASIUM: Around this time last year, in an effort to finally get in shape that has thus far been generally successful, I joined a local gym. And while attending the gym is usually quite a nondescript experience (as most people are sweating, panting, grunting, and not wanting to talk to anyone), I have seen quite a few things of interest in my year at New York Sports Club.
-The most laughable instances at the gym are those of people doing things while working out that they just shoudn't be doing. Now annoying as cell-phone-on-the-street people can be, cell-phone-on-the-exercise-bike people are ten times worse. What could they be thinking?
-It's natural to audibly grunt while lifting weights and not realize it; I don't begrudge those who do. But I have less patience for exercisers who sing along to their headphone radios, especially those who attempt to squeak out rap solos while doing pushups. And don't even get me started on those who insist on playing air guitar/air drums while on the treadmill.
-As a rule, female personal trainers are either extremely beautiful, or monsters in the mold of Chyna or Nicole Bass. Luckily my gym employs more of the former. On one occasion I was about to use the ab-rolling machine when one of these gorgeous creatures came up to me and kindly requested that she go first. I was happy to oblige, until I heard her say "hey Debbie, come over here!," and motion to a grotesquely large client of hers, who proceeded to spend about 10 minutes doing 15 reps.
-And last but not least (because I know you were all wondering), I have not myself witnessed any of the type of, um, male activity (of the "Oz" variety) that's been known to occur in gym locker rooms throughout the city. Though on one occasion I did see a laminated, apparently oft-used sign on the door of the steam room, stating "due to inappropriate behavior, the sauna and steam room will be closed for the remainder of the evening." Not that there's anything wrong with that...
Despite all these minor annoyances, I do enjoy going to the gym each morning; I highly recommend it.