SUPER... THANKS FOR ASKING!: I never thought I'd type these words, after all those years that they wore those garish pewter jerseys while losing to the Vikings, Bears, Packers, and Lions, but the Tampa Bay Buccaneers are the champions of the world. It's the first professional sports championship of any kind for the glorious body of water known as Tampa Bay, not to mention for the cities surrounding it (Tampa and St. Petersburg).
The Bucs made the previously unstoppable Oakland Raiders look like amateurs, in reaching their third straight decisive victory of the postseason. In the process, Eagles fans who already had suffered through a week of flashing back to Ronde Barber's game-icing interception return for a touchdown experienced further agony, as the Bucs scored TDs off INTs THREE TIMES against Rich Gannon and the Raiders.
As for the more important events of the evening, the commercials: While none of last night's ads were as witty or clever as the Vegas tourism/limo spot, or Nike's Soccer Streaker, it was still a generally strong year. The Gold Medal goes to Reebok, for its groundbreaking Terry Tate: Office Linebacker spot. Not only was it hilarious, but in naming the fictional company "Felcher and Sons," Reebok paid tribute both to the Big Gay Al musical number in the "South Park" movie, and to "felching," a certain marginal sexual practice that will go undefined here, but was the source of many punchlines back in my sketch comedy days. A coincidence, or a subversive plot by some very evil advertising exec? I'm betting on the latter...
Who will seize on this first, Savage Love or Pucker Up?
The Silver Medal for commercials goes to Yao Ming's "Yao/Yo" bit- Yao's made two commercials in two weeks, and they're both classic-caliber. And I give a cumulative Bronze to the entire Bud Light lineup, most notably the upside-down-clown drinking beer through its own ass, the mother-as-your-girlfriend-in-20-years, and the three-armed beer drinker played by the all-time greatest cast member in the history of "The Real World," Teck $. All way beyond Bud Bowl.
And the worst? Who but Partnership For a Drug-Free America? Even after the drug-money-supports-terrorism and pot-makes-you-shoot-yourself campaigns of recent months, the Partnership reaches a new low in depicting a 12-year-old's positive pregnancy test- and blaming it on marijuana! This sends a very clear message to teenagers everywhere: if you smoke pot, no matter how young you are, it'll make you have sex!