December 06, 2002

GIDDY-UP: Whereas my college's student

GIDDY-UP: Whereas my college's student senate never took up any issues more germane than the quality of the romaine lettuce in the cafeterias or whether or not to recognize the Toothbrush Club, the student lawmakers at the University of Alabama apparently take their powers a bit more seriously. After football coach Dennis Franchione quit the Crimson Tide yesterday in order to take over at Texas A&M, the school's student senate swung into action, passing a resolution (unanimously, I may add) calling the ex-coach a "low class lying son of a bitch male whore that raped the fans of this great University by taking his male tits to College Station, TX." And then, in a passage that likely would get them sentenced to university-mandated sensitivity training at the good ol' 'deis, the senate taunts that "only two things come from Texas, steers and ummmm... and I don't see any horns." Speaking of which, perhaps 'bama should consider replacing Franchione with former Mississippi State coach Jackie Sherrill, who once had a steer castrated in front of his team the week they played the Texas Longhorns.
And the senators aren't the only ones in Tuscaloosa angry about Franchione's departure: according to Alabama talk show host Paul Finebaum, "Brutus and Benedict Arnold are mild figures in history compared to what Alabama people feel tonight about Dennis Franchione."
(The senate resolution was brought to my attention by Dan Lewis, inventor of the Chunky Soup Curse and in my opinion the best damn sports blogger there is).

Posted by Stephen Silver at December 6, 2002 04:01 AM
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