SHOPPING SPREE AT TARGET (CENTER)?: ESPN.com, in its now no-longer-free Rumor Central section, is reporting on a proposed trade in which the New York Knicks would send Latrell Sprewell to my Minnesota T-Wolves in exchange for Wally Szczerbiak and Rasho Nesterovic. Now, there are numerous reasons why this is a bad idea, not the least of which is that Spree is much older than either Wolves player, or that the New York tabloids will have trouble coming up with snappy headlines with names like "Szczerbiak" and "Nesterovic." The biggest problem is that Latrell Sprewell is a worse fit for the good-citizen, team player, Minnesota Nice sports culture of the Twin Cities than any currently active athlete, with the possible exception of Randy Moss. And you thought Wally couldn't get along with Kevin Garnett? KG and Sprewell would be at each other's throats from day one, no doubt. The only reason the trade would make sense is that it would bring Szczerbiak closer to his native Long Island and Spree nearer to his hometown of Milwaukee. Though somehow the thought of the Coach Choker returning to the Midwest doesn't conjure the same warm fuzzies as Winfield, Molitor, and Morris' Twins homecomings. And besides, isn't it in the Collective Bargaining Agreement that no team can legally take two white players in the same trade? Maybe the Knicks can try and be fined five first-round draft choices.
Want a better idea? How about Sprewell to Phoenix for Stephon Marbury? Steph's always wanted to return to the New York (because Jersey wasn't close enough), and the Knicks do need a point guard in the worst way. And while the old white retirees who root for the Suns may not take so kindly to a 6'7" guy with cornrows entering their community, they should be used to it by now: the Suns have had a long line of assholes at the guard position since they were last good (Sam Cassell, Jason Kidd, Penny Hardaway, Marbury), so Spree'd be nothing new.