The WWE held its twentieth annual Wrestlemania event last night at Madison Square Garden; taking the train to my friend’s house on Long Island, I left from Penn Station –which is under MSG- meaning I traveled away from the live event in order to watch it on TV. This year is also believed to be the first time in history that both Wrestlemania and the Republican National Convention will take place in the same building in the same year.
Longtime fans were rewarded as in the final match of the evening Chris Benoit defeated Triple-H and Shawn Michaels in a three-way match to win his first-ever world championship. As the “technical wrestler” has long been a favorite of the “smart” fans in wrestling’s internet community, Benoit’s victory –coupled with that of longtime “scientific” favorite Eddie Guerrero in the other main event- was enough to get most fans to let slide the show’s five-hour running time.
The most surreal moment of the evening was unquestionably the match between Goldberg and Brock Lesnar. Both men are said to soon be leaving the federation, with Lesnar this week announcing his departure in order to pursue an NFL career, even though he’s never played organized football in his life. Throughout the match the crowd turned violently against both Lesnar and Goldberg, chanting “you sold out” and singing that “na na na na hey hey goodbye” song; they didn’t cheer until special referee “Stone Cold” Steve Austin attacked both wrestlers.
The Rock and Mick Foley both returned to the ring after long absences, as did the “old school” Undertaker, and also appearing in a match was the 55-year-old Ric Flair, though Hulk Hogan did not grace us with his orange-hued presence this year. The youngest participant in the evening was Shane McMahon’s infant son, who appeared in a promo- I expect that kid to be involved in his first storyline within two years.
Pete Rose showed up for the Hall of Fame induction and was thankfully booed by about half the crowd; I would’ve joined them had I been there. Jesse Ventura also appeared and gave an interview to Donald Trump at ringside- four years ago Gov. Jesse was trying to get Trump to run for president, and now they’ve both been reduced to bantering between matches at Wrestlemania. The McMahons even dragged “Mean Gene” Okerland and the ailing Bobby “The Brain” Heenan out of the mothballs for old times’ sake.
And yes, before you attack the comments, I know wrestling is fake. So does Sports Guy, who like me watched the event despite largely ignoring the last year or two's worth of storylines. He riffs on a love-triangle plot, sure to reference the Donna’s-debutante-ball episode of "90210" before finishing with,
I keep expecting to turn on SportsCenter and see Linda Cohn choosing between John Clayton and Sean Salisbury.