January 24, 2005

Fear and Loathing in Buffalo

The Buffalo alt-weekly the Buffalo Beast has released its annual 50 Most Loathsome Americans list. Ohio Secretary of State Kenneth Blackwell is #1, and there are some real zingers. For instance:

- Tom Cruise is "extremely convincing when he plays an ambitious, superficial prick."

- Stephen Moore "actually snivels visibly."

- Lynndie England is "the most authentic trailer trash to enter the public spotlight since Anna Nicole."

- Michael Jackson is accused of "surgically transforming himself into a ghastly artificial creature, and then forcing himself on little boys."

- Anna Nicole Smith is "like some tawdry copy of a pre-death Marilyn Monroe without any Arthur Miller to suppress her."

- Zell Miller is "part Yosemite Sam and part Foghorn Leghorn."

- Joan Rivers is "the most ghastly face science has managed to create without the use of chemical weapons."

- Donald Trump "shares Saddam Husseinís compulsion to have gaudy structures named after himself."

And Donald Rumsfeld "carries himself in press conferences like a cranky grandfather who is sick of hearing his daughters whine about how he molested them every now and then."

Can't wait for the New York Press version...

Posted by Stephen Silver at January 24, 2005 11:49 PM
Comments

Wow--what a screed. This is very amusing, but any such list that doesn't include Jimmy Carter, Michael Moore, or Patrick Leahy can't be taken seriously.

Posted by: DBrooks at January 25, 2005 09:38 AM

And no Paris Hilton? I actually thought that list was sanctimonious tripe, especially # 3: YOU. YOU do nothing but read People magazine. YOU don't organize and act. YOU don't spend your time the way I, a smarter person, think you should. Stuff it, creep.

Posted by: Emily at January 25, 2005 11:36 AM
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