SteveSilver.net

Rock Around the Glock

Remember that internet video that made the rounds a month or so ago, where a DEA agent was teaching a gun safety course, and just seconds after introducing a Glock .40, accidentally shot himself in the leg, and then carried on the lecture as if nothing had happened?

Now it turns out that agent has been suspended- because he has a Valerie Plame problem. According to news reports the video, which was filmed more than a year ago, was unauthorized because the agent was undercover, and as a result of the video his identity has been compromised. That the agent was undercover apparently didn’t keep him from addressing a room of what looked like at least 100 people, one of whom had a video camera. And somehow his bosses, when he got back to the office, never noticed a bullet wound.

What’s the funniest angle to this story? I can think of at least seven candidates:

- That the agent shot himself, about five seconds after pulling the gun and saying “I'm the only one in this room professional enough that I know of to carry this Glock .40.”

- That he then carried on the lecture as though nothing had happened, later pulling out a second, much larger gun, which scared everyone in the room shitless.

- That the agent, in an attempt to establish “street cred,” said that the Glock .40 is favored in lyrics by such rappers as “50 Cent [and] Too Short,” the latter of whom is both not particularly “gangsta,” and not particularly current, either.

- That he is a dead ringer for former NFL star Ricky Williams, despite the career juxtaposition- one retired from football to smoke pot full time, while the other is a federal narcotics agent.

- That the speech was held under the auspices of something called the “Orlando Minority Youth Golf Association,” the sort of thing that could only exist in Tiger Woods’ hometown.*

- That, despite being an “undercover agent,” he would appear in a public setting, identify himself as a DEA agent, and wear a DEA t-shirt.

- And that, according to this blogger, there's no such thing as a Glock .40, and it's never been mentioned in any rap song either. In fact, the blogger offers to buy a Glock .40 for anyone who can find it referenced in a rap song. I'll bite: Ludacris did say "I got my twin glock .40's cocked back," in "Roll Out (My Biz-nass)," so I guess this guy owes me a Glock .40. Twin Glock .40s, in fact.

*UPDATE: Conversation between LilB and I over this point:

LilB:But [Tiger] is only 2/3rds minority.
Me: How can someone be 2/3rds of a race? What, he has three parents, and only one of them is white?
LilB: B/C Tiger Woods is Cablinasian (white, black and asian)
Me: Right, but doesn’t the fraction have to be a multiple of four?

Posted by Stephen Silver at April 13, 2005 12:59 PM