June 06, 2006

The Clemens Conspiracy?

With Roger Clemens announcing his return to the Astros, we're now getting rumors that Clemens' skipping of the first few months of the season were in fact due to a top-secret steroid suspension, following in the footsteps of that urban legend that Michael Jordan's first retirement was really a double-secret, 18-month gambling suspension.

Let's see here: for this theory to be true, baseball would have had to conspire with the Astros- by convincing them not to offer Clemens salary arbitration- as well as all of the other teams in the bidding for his services. And in the high-profile negotiation, all of the teams would have had to bid against each other for his services without anyone leaking any information- a scenario that would require, for instance, the Yankees and Red Sox to cooperate with each other.

This conspiracy would require the knowledge of at least a couple of hundred people, none of whom felt the need to blab to Peter Gammons or the "Game of Shadows" authors- all while baseball's steroid history was both under investigation from an independent panel and under fire from Congress. Sorry, I don't buy it.

Another Houston-based sports conspiracy theory makes a little more sense, but I still don't quite believe it. (I thought of it on my own, but this guy had the same idea):

Just days after the Houston Texans shocked the world by taking Mario Williams with the #1 pick in the NFL draft and letting presumptive #1 Reggie Bush go to the Saints, Houston GM Charley Casserly announced that he was leaving the organization in order to take a job in the NFL's executive office. Might Casserly have secretly agreed to the NFL job prior to the draft and, as a favor to the commissioner, found a way to route Bush to New Orleans, a city and team that very much need a resurgence in order to remain viable?

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