Matt Taibbi, author of the Boston Phoenix's excellent column that examines the week in sports crime, has celebrated the biggest year in his field yet by coming up with a new points system:
All arrests involving assaults against women score a minimum of 50 points. All assaults of men by women, provided deadly force is not used, score minus 50 points, although arrests involving women who throw cell phones at men are annoying, not funny, and score positive points. If you attack your wife or girlfriend by ramming her with a car — think Victor Riley — that’s a minimum 75 points. If you actually hit her, that’s 85. If your children are in the car, that’s 90 points. If anyone else’s children are in the car, that’s also 90 points. Maximum scores of 100 are rare, the last one being Rae Carruth. O.J. was a 99; he lost one point only because a big chunk of his sizable fee went to Barry Scheck and therefore indirectly went to Scheck’s Innocence Project. You don’t get points off for getting away with it.By that rationale, the 2006 Bengals are the highest-scoring team in NFL history. Posted by Stephen Silver at December 29, 2006 08:34 PM