October 01, 2007

Barry in Minny?

According to the Star Tribune today, the Twins might consider signing Barry Bonds to solve their problems with offense/left field/DH/ticket sales. It's intriguing, of sure, but there are enough obstacles in the way that I'd imagine Tom Glavine has a better chance of being elected Queens borough president than Bonds does of ever suiting up for the Twinkies.

Speaking of Barry, these "revelations"- from Greg Anderson's former cellmate, may be the best ever:

Desperate to combat the testicular shrinkage that can occur with steroids use, Bonds injected human growth hormone directly into his genitals during the 2002 playoffs — with disastrous results for both him and the Giants.
• In early 2003, owing to the performance-enhancing drugs coursing through his body, Bonds suddenly began lactating, forcing doctors to excise his mammary glands.
• Wary of taking steroids since the BALCO flap broke, Bonds, intent on maintaining his edge, now supplements his diet with "Barry's brew," a homemade high-energy drink made of elk semen that has yielded its own troubling side effects.
Expect Congress to immediately demand a test for elk semen. And yes, I realize the piece is a parody. This was first pointed out by Josh Wolf, the blogger who spent several months in jail earlier this year for contempt of court. Wolf knew it wasn't real because... he did time with Greg Anderson, and realized it wasn't like him to snitch to a reporter.

Posted by Stephen Silver at October 1, 2007 05:31 PM
Comments

Classic. This is getting play on KFAN too. For a while they were buying it. They don't quite get it's a parody yet.

Posted by: Jeff S at October 3, 2007 11:37 AM
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