Last night, I managed to dodge the hot dog bomb and enter Citizen's Bank Park, just in time to see the Phillies lose to Atlanta in a blowout. It was the second time the Phils had lost this year with me in the house; last year, when I went to about 10 games, they were undefeated, although overall they've equaled last year's win total of 89.
Luckily, the Phils' night wasn't a total loss, as the Mets managed to blow their game against the Cubs, getting man-on-third-with-nobody-out in three straight innings but managing to score in only one them. The Phils' magic number is now three; the Mets have responded by turning to an old friend, Voltron.
Tomorrow morning, the Chicago White Sox will suspend their campaign for the AL Central title and return to Chicago after a nice continental breakfast in the hotel restaurant. We have spoken to the Minnesota Twins and informed them of our decision and have asked them to join us.There really are many more Twins/Obama parallels than I realized...
I am calling on the Commissioner of Baseball to convene a meeting with the leadership from both leagues, including the Twins and White Sox. It is time for both teams to come together to solve this problem.
We must meet as Americans, not as Twins or White Sox, and we must meet until this crisis in our testicular fortitude and timely hitting is resolved. I am directing my front office to work with the Twins' front office and the Major League Baseball Scheduling Office to delay Thursday night's game against the Twins until we have taken action to address this crisis.