RECALL UPDATE: With 96% of precincts reporting, we are ready to project Larry Flynt the winner of the California Recall Joke Candidate Race, with 14,778 votes, narrowly beating out favorite Gary Coleman, who had 12,263 to finish 8th overall. Yes, 12,263 people in the state of California got up, left the house, and drove to polling places with the intention of voting for Arnold from "Diff'rent Strokes" to represent them as governor. My favorite result of all is that Flynt, Coleman, and porn actress Mary Carey all finished ahead of Bill Simon, who was last year's GOP nominee for governor.
More disappointing was Gallagher, who finished 16th; I'm sure he's so angry this morning at his poor showing that he'll break some watermelons in frustration.
Finishing just behind Gary was a Mr. George Schwartzman with just over 10,000 votes, most of which can likely be attributed to people who intended to vote for a certain Kindergarten Cop who was just below him on the ballot. Other interestingly-named candidates who failed to catch on: Van Vo, Badi Badiozamani, a Mr. Edward "Ed" Kennedy, Jack Hickey, CT Weber (not the "Real World"er, right?), Richard Simmons, Dick Lane, Michael Jackson (a Republican), the mysterious "S. Issa," someone named Lorraine "Abner Zurd" Fontanes (?), Robert "Butch" Dole, and finally the independent candidate Todd Richard Lewis, who gets the "Mr. Irrelevant" award after finishing dead last with a mere 165 votes.