TOMEI NATION: My NYPress Billboard colleague Reihan Salam opines that actress Marisa Tomei is more attractive than ever- and therefore, she should be our next president. Salam confirms my long-held theory that beautiful women are the true Masters of the Universe- after all, the tyrants of the world are almost universally male- do you think they would gleefully defy a gorgeous female president the way they would Dubya? Regardless, there's no question Marisa is more deserving of the presidency than she is of her Academy Award.
I also like Reihan's idea of the establishment of a "constitutional monarchy" in the US, with "Kobe Bryant, representing black Americans, the West Coast, our nation's vigor and physical prowess, etc., as king and Natalie Portman, representing American Jewry, the East Coast, our nation's sophistication and sartorial flair, as queen." Sounds good to me, although last time Portman was cast as the queen, it didn't work out nearly as well as everyone hoped. Though I'd assume that, under Salam's plan, Queen Natalie would be constitutionally limited to one term.