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Vegas Baby, Vegas!

As the plane was about to touch down at McCarron Airport for my first-ever trip to Las Vegas, what should come up on the shuffle function of my iPod than Elvis' "Viva Las Vegas." It was the sort of irony that would set the tone for my time there.

Aside from what will henceforth be known as The Great Blackjack Debacle of '05, I had an excellent time on my visit to Sin City. My work stuff went well, I had a great time walking the strip, and uh, I didn't lose all my money. A few highlights:

- After some light blackjack Sunday afternoon at the Mandalay Bay- where my conference was- I returned to my hotel for a nap, and after waking up hit the Hard Rock, which was right across the street from where I was staying. I approached a table and was immediately offered a comp card- probably because I was the only person in the casino wearing a suit and tie, and they probably thought I was some sort of high roller, even though I'd just sat down at the $15 blackjack table. Guess no one else there paid attention to "Swingers."

So I felt pretty good about that. Good crowd, cool dealer, I had a pretty good vibe about the whole thing. And then I dropped something like 10 hands in a row- drawing "more 13s and 14s than R. Kelly," as Simmons would say. Ouch. I had never had such a bad run before- and in fact, I'd kicked ass in AC just two weeks ago.

My general gambling history is that I win when I go to Atlantic City, and lose just about anywhere else- Foxwoods, Mohegen Sun, and any of the Indian reservation places in Minnesota or Wisconsin- so I guess now I can add Vegas to the list. Hopefully not forever though.

- America West -known to Sports Guy readers as "Olowokandi Air"- totally sucks. I'd argue that it's actually worse than Michael Olowokandi, because it's never been anyone's #1 pick for anything. Never fly it- even the in-flight movie ("Bridget Jones 2") was horrible.

- All I could keep thinking of was the different movies set in Vegas- "Swingers" of course, plus the Nicolas Cage Trilogy of "Leaving Las Vegas," "Honeymoon in Vegas" and "Con Air"; both versions of "Ocean's Eleven," "Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas," "Viva Las Vegas," and "Casino." "Showgirls" and "Very Bad Things"? Not so much.

- Supposedly there was a Motley Crue concert at that very same Hard Rock that very night, that I had just missed. Also, someone mentioned that David Copperfield was there too, though I didn't see him. And there was a woman in the lobby of the Monte Carlo who may or may not have been Glenn Close. Whatever, I met the Phillie Phanatic on Saturday, and that was much more exciting.

(And speaking of baseball celebrities, my dad Blackberried me last week from a Twins-Orioles spring training game in Florida. Apparently Sammy Sosa was having a better day than he had in DC the day before; he was able to go all nine innings without perjuring himself.)

- When you walk into the New York, New York casino from that little bridge thing, the first thing you see is… Coyote Ugly. Because if New York is defined by anything, it's Coyote Ugly.

- I did not get a chance to visit the Palms; my pilgrimage to the former stomping grounds of Trishelle, Brynn, Arissa, and Irulan will have to wait for another day.

- I stopped by Harrah's on Sunday night and it was completely dead- was it the inspiration for the casino in "Swingers" that "back in the day… used to be a contender, but nowadays they'll just appreciate the business"?- but the buffet was excellent. "A" may be a pain-in-the-ass when it comes to leaving vituperative comments, but she sure knows her Vegas buffets.

- No, I didn't visit any strip clubs/hookers/massage parlors on my visit, for three reasons: There's something skeevy about going to those alone; I barely had any money left at the end of the trip; and you only really want to go to those if you haven't seen a woman naked in awhile.

All in all, a memorable experience, and I hope to get back there soon. And now, perhaps now I'll relate to the opening half hour of "Swingers" just as much as I do the rest of the movie.

-Do you think we'll get there by midnight?

-Baby, we're going to be up five hundy by midnight!

Vegas Baby, Vegas!

Posted by Stephen Silver at March 24, 2005 07:05 AM