February 06, 2006

The Best and Worst Commercials

Not a bad year for commercials. I kept hearing this year's ads would be less sex-oriented and more violent. Which is great, because sex isn't inherently funny, but violence is. Here we go:

The five best:

1. The FedEx caveman. Short, simple, and with a great punchline. Even better, the cruelty-to-animals people can't complain because dinosaurs are extinct anyway.

2. The sheep streaker. Loved it. Almost as good as the human streaker ad from a few years ago. And here I didn't think the Clydesdales could be funny.

3. The first two Bud Light ads. The bottles hidden in the office, which soon regrets into savagery, followed by the "magic fridge" in the apartment. Great, great stuff, and even better, Cedric the Entertainer was nowhere to be found.

4. The Michelob Ultra Amber tackle spot. Like a cross between "Terry Tate: Office Linebacker" and the touch-football scenes in "Wedding Crashers."

5. Cell phone "Crime Deterrent." Love that it was actually listed as a feature.

And the five worst:

1. "Brown and Bubbly." It would be a candidate for the bottom five for Diddy's involvement alone. But use of the slogan "Brown and Bubbly"- to sell a food product really has to be one of the worst ideas in the history of advertising. Flush it, I say.

2. Jessica Simpson for Pizza Hut. Like she's eaten a pizza in the last five years.

3. "The Whopperettes." A lot of people liked this one, but I thought it was creepy, especially with "The King" hovering nearby. And yes, the King scares me ten times more than he used to, now that I've met Howard Eskin in person.

4. "The Beer Institute." Only because they had every nationalilty on Earth say their version of "Cheers"- except for a disturbing lack of "L'Chaim."

5. The Gillette Fusion. Not that it was a bad ad, I just love that the Onion's "Fuck it, we're going to five blades" parody has actually come true.

Posted by Stephen Silver at February 6, 2006 05:00 PM

I too was really disappointed that L'chiam wasn't on there. You think that was intentional? I mean, was there not a single Jew working on that ad?

Posted by: Jeff S at February 6, 2006 05:28 PM

I am surprised at 2 ads there are no responses toward. The one I liked was in the hospital for the insurance company and they guy kills a fly. The other one that was sexual but not mentioned showed some guy being mounted on a plane by some girl...surprised it didn't cause any harm. And I thought the Caveman ad was way overrated and the bUrger king was indeed creepy.

Posted by: A at February 6, 2006 09:38 PM

My Favorite ad was the football players practicing saying I'm going to Disney World. But does that count as a Superbowl ad, since you know, Disney owns ABC?

Posted by: Jeff S at February 6, 2006 11:19 PM

Well, I have to agree that the Ameriquest ads (Don't judge too quickly, we won't) were the best lot of this year. In fact, the next day on the NFL Networks commercial show, there was a 3rd involving a father driving his daughter and her friends somewhere and giving her money after she got out of the car (she ahd to come back to the car to get it) and then the Polics pull up behind the guy because it look like he's soliciting a prostitute. That commercial probably was pulled by the bad taste police (and for good reason) but it was still pretty funny.
Also, I'm surprised that nobody has mentioned the MacGyver ad from MasterCard. Genius for a few of us who loved the show as a kid.

Posted by: Dan at February 7, 2006 10:21 AM

Al Jaffee in Mad Magazine did a thing about crazy razors back in the '70s.

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