July 25, 2006

The Lady in the Watterson

Here's Jim Emerson of the Chicago Sun-Times, pinch-hitting for Ebert in slamming the embarrassing "Lady in the Water":

"Let me quote from Night's children's book tie-in that Explains It All for You: "Tartutic. They have one name, but there are three of them. They look like monkeys." (See? I got that part right.) "They are like guards sent to punish the scrunts when they break the rules. They climb down from the trees and out of the bushes and snatch the scrunts away." Wait for it.

I'm not anywhere near done yet, and neither is Shyamalan. As the book further explains: "There is more to tell of course, like why a scrunt might break the rule and try to attack a narf on the night the Great Eatlon comes... because there is a reason."

OK, stop. No. No, there is not a reason. All these convoluted "rules" -- including rules about what happens when somebody breaks the rules -- are as arbitrary as they are frivolous."

So you can make up rules whenever you want and they don't have to not contradict each other? Sounds like a cinematic version of Calvinball.

Posted by Stephen Silver at July 25, 2006 12:15 AM

Calvinball!! Awesome!!

Also, "scrunt"? Isn't that awfully close to something else that, shall we say, SHOULDN'T BE IN A CHILDREN'S MOVIE?!

Posted by: LilB at July 29, 2006 12:55 PM
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