April 02, 2008

But Was the Picnic Table Hot?

News Item: Ohio man arrested for having sex with picnic table

Not "on." "With." And he did it four times:

Bellevue Police Captain Matt Johnson says Art Price, Jr., 40, was seen on four occasions between the hours of 10:30 a.m. and noon having sex with his picnic table. What makes this a felony, Johnson says, is that it took place in close proximity to a school, which made it likely that children could have seen Price.

The neighbor -- who wishes to remain anonymous -- saw Price walk out onto his deck, stand a round metal table on its side and use the hole in the umbrella to have sex.

The most recent instance took place March 14, we're told. A neighbor videotaped Price.

"The first video we had, he was completely nude. He would use the hole from the umbrella and have sex with the table," Johnson says.

I just know what his defense will be- "it's not illegal when it's YOUR picnic table!"

Posted by Stephen Silver at April 2, 2008 03:58 PM
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